Jason’s voice would not be waking her from this nightmare.
She thought she should feel something about that. But Jason seemed very far away. Everything seemed far away.
“You see, Lilith, when a person dies…”
“Why do you keep saying my name?”
She felt a little glow of triumph. She had spoken. She had broken his seal of silence.
He did not move. He did not speak. Her voice had frozen him.
“It’s a nice name.”
Her glow of triumph dimmed before the fire in his eyes. He never had been and never would be ice.
He turned and bent down towards the plant again.
“Now, Lilith, when a person dies…”
“Did you have any other questions?”
Why wasn’t she on fire? Why wasn’t she running away before he set her on fire? Why did she feel so empty and clear and cold?
Maybe she was the ice. Maybe she was the one who was frozen.
She did not answer him. The ice clung to her lungs.
He continued with his lecture. It sounded as if he’d rehearsed it. She found herself entranced with a vision of him standing before a mirror, practicing this speech for her.
“When a person dies, they leave many things behind.”
“Hopes, loves, dreams. Debts, wills, that bone china set you’ve had your eye on for years and if your cousin takes it you’ll never talk to him again.”
“They also leave behind something else.”
“The seeds of tomorrows that will never be. Or at least…”
“will never be for them.”
He was doing it again this morning. Going on and on about fire and death and life. And life fruit.
I wish he wouldn’t talk about the life fruit.
He’s started a garden. It gets him out in the sun. But I’m scared…what if he realizes…and Emma works in the garden with him. Surely he wouldn’t…
He’s stopped talking about the life fruit. I’m afraid that’s because he’s figured it out.
What it was that made him willing to kill others in order to live.
“Do you know the old alchemy motto? Separate, and join together?”
What little was left of her glow flickered and went out.