Baby I Got Your Money

Go home. Don’t be the *other* GilsCarbo.

BE ABOVE THE INFLUENCE, GUNKY

I second the go home. Get dressed in sandless non-plaid shorts, Gunky. You’re already late.

You decide to go home. You can’t work in someone else’s sandy clothes. Especially not these sandy clothes.

The word “plaid” echoes in your brain and you shudder in disgust again.

You turn towards home, imagining the familiar smell of your own clothes and their blessed lack of sand. You will burn these shorts. Burn them to ashes, jump on the ashes, and flush what’s left. You’ll show that other GilsCarbo.

Go shower and change into workout clothes at the gym, then go to work. If your boss comments on your clothes or your lateness, tell her you’re working out so you can bring her coffee faster.

I LOVE this idea! I used to devour those CYOA books.

Hmmm. Depends. What’s his haste rating? rofl

Definitely, as DB said – to the gym then off to work.

I’m with DB on this one…to the gym, then to work.

In your head you’re already home and in your own shower, singing “Hey, Dirty, baby I got your money!” at the top of your lungs. You make it all the way to the street before you remember.

You do not have Dirty’s money.

The child support payments you owe Girlfriends #2 and #4 are coming up due pretty soon, and you currently have 30 simoleans to your name.

You kind of sort of really need this job. It’s this or selling carrots to little kids at the town park, and those kids can be vicious. You’ve heard stories. Like the one about the kid who bit a dealer’s ears off.

Being really late on your first day is probably not a good idea. Also now your ears are itchy.

The gym is closer than your house. You can run there, get a quick shower, spin into your athletic outfit, and hopefully not be too terribly late.

Of course your athletic outfit is shirtless and you’re pretty sure you saw something about shirts being required in the employee handbook you got at orientation.

Take off your shirt. Then go strutting to your job like you own the damn place. That will definitely make a great first impression on Iliana.

Gunky, lol!

Dress code schmess code. You are one fine specimen of Simhood and all tardiness and dress code violations will be excused once the chicks get a look at your abs. You do not have a mere six pack. No, you have a twenty four pack. Cut out of titanium. It never fails to dazzle the females of the species.

You wonder if maybe they have glitter at the gym. The only thing better than manly well-defined abs is sparkly manly well-defined abs.

Stop by the diner to pick up a slice of coffee cake to go with the coffee.

If the gym does not have glitter, you’ll sacrifice a few precious simoleans to get some coffee cake. Girls love cake, almost as much as they love sparkly manly abs. It’s sure to get you some brownie points. And you really really need this job.

You check to make sure you still have ears. You know. Just in case.

You are a man with a plan now. You will get rid of the sand and the awful awful plaid shorts and you will be sparkly and you will come bearing cake and the ladies will love you. Iliana will be too busy admiring your studliness to bother about punctuality or proper attire. It’s going to be a good day.

You whistle for a cab, but none come near. This highly disturbs you. Your whole life, whenever you needed to go somewhere, a cab showed up. Usually with a creepy driver and a not so fresh smelling interior, and there was that one with the red glowing dice that seemed to move on their own, but there was always one there. The cabs are dependable. The cabs are the one constant in your life, the one thing you know will always be there for you.

This morning, they are not here.

Your ears are really really itchy now.

Ear Shot!

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9 Responses to Baby I Got Your Money

  1. Anonymous says:

    Jog to the gym. You have your workout clothes with you, why not?

    Like

  2. DB loves her Mac says:

    Zeniport!

    ~still giggling at sparkly man abs~

    Like

  3. raquelaroden says:

    lol…glitter and cake….

    You decide to walk to the community pool instead because it is closer–you’ll show up in your swimsuit, and if you’re still wet then your abs will be sorta glittery, but in a more natural way. Maybe by then the magical wishing cabs will start working again?

    Like

  4. kaldresh says:

    As you are walking/jogging to gym, you begin to wonder if maybe becoming a fisherman or gardner or collector isn’t a better idea. Who wants to fetch coffee anyway… nah – beneath you. You’ve heard of the amounts of money involved in these “alternative” job markets and besides, who are you to deprive your town of the constant sight of sparkly man abs?

    Like

  5. palesunflower says:

    I second raquelaroden’s suggestion – take a quick dip in the community pool, show up with man-abs glistening instead of potentially glittery.

    Unless…are you a kleptomaniac? If so, just run across the street and “borrow” someone’s car.

    Like

  6. medleymisty says:

    Going to go eat and go to the grocery store and stuff, and then I’ll write the next update when I get home tonight. Still open for commands at this time.

    It’s going to be interesting, I think. Great suggestions so far.

    Also, can I just say how nice it is writing funny stuff again? Not that I prefer it to the srs bsns that Valley was, but it is nice. Been a few years since my last legacy.

    Like

  7. medleymisty says:

    All right, closing this one down and getting to work on the next one. And yes, I did delete a command but I was alerted that it was possible spam.

    See you in a bit – not being all hardcore serious, these don’t take anywhere near as long as a Valley update. 🙂

    Like

  8. Jessie says:

    Scratch your ears!

    Like

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