At this point, work is the very last thing on your mind. Perhaps you’ll stop by the hospital later to grab an admittance bracelet to show work tomorrow as an excuse, though how this day is going, you may end up using that “excuse” for REAL.
Curiosity overcomes you, and you pick up the green glowing figurine. Maybe something will happen if you rub it?
You kneel down to get a closer look at the cow plant. Cow plant figurine, you mean. Actual cow plants are extinct. Right? You know you read something about that back in high school, how Sims back in the day harvested all the wild cow plants and kept them around as pets and then eventually, after eating many thousands of Sims, the cow plants all died and Sims had to find other ways of dispatching their enemies and consuming the left over essence in order to prolong their lives.
Such a pretty green glow. So soft and comforting.
You reach out and touch the little statue. It’s warm and maybe a bit softer than it should be.
Lick the glowing cow figurine to find out what it tastes like. Isn’t it lunch time yet?
Your stomach grumbles. You’re so hungry. So very very hungry. It’s been a long time since the roasted wieners at the beach party.
For a brief moment, you wonder what eyes would taste like.
You shake the sound of the old woman’s skin tearing apart out of your ears, lift up the cow plant statue, and give it a good lick.
It seems slightly affronted by this and gives you a Look. With its non-existent eyes. That probably taste like cake. Mmm, cake.
I think he should call the police and tell them some lady tried to eat his eyes! Oh, on second thought, maybe not. They might think he’s crazy.
Wait, what are you doing? Kneeling in the middle of the road licking strangely glowing figurines? You’re not going to get Girlfriend #6 like this!
In a brief moment of sanity, you take your cellphone out and dial 91. Your finger hovers over the 1.
A car soaked in blood and disembodied ears and an old lady ripping her face off and talking about eating eyeballs.
You call the SVPD with that story, you’re likely to find yourself in Sunset Valley Sanatorium.
You put your cellphone back in your MIP.
That figurine is creepy…mail it to Abu Dhabi! Then get yourself a one way trip to Australia and take up a more relaxing past time…like crocodile wrestling.
There is a mailbox nearby. You could drop the cow plant figurine into it. Maybe use some paper from the easel to address it to your old friend in Abu Dhabi. The old friend who told Girlfriend #3 about Girlfriend #4 and could probably use a green glowing seemingly sentient cow plant figurine in his life.
Then you’d catch a flight to the other side of the world. Maybe Australia. They don’t have cowplants there. Don’t need them, with all their crocodiles and spiders and snakes.
Eye-eating zombies? Dead corpses in cars? Late child support payments? Sounds like this isn’t your day. You’re probably late for work, calling in with some excuse about traffic might buy you some extra time to see to the developing sand problem. Wonder if that cow figurine is worth any money, might help the current situation.
You’re already digging around your MIP for the easel when you think, hey, wait – the cow plant figurine might be worth something. It might be worth a lot. Especially with that green glow. That’s probably pretty rare. Maybe you should sell it.
Take the figurine to the science lab and find out if something’s wrong with it. It could be radioactive and ruin your insanely good looks. Or give you superpowers. One or the other.
Actually, you could take it to the science lab and get it appraised. Yes! Excellent idea! Best one you’ve had yet today!
You put the cow plant figurine in your MIP and get out your cellphone to call in late to work. Best to at least let them know that you’re alive and that you haven’t just skipped out on them.
You dial the office number.
It rings. Then it rings again. Then it rings some more. No one picks up.
Maybe everyone else is late too? Maybe they all have some variation of weird faceless old ladies to deal with?
You breathe a sigh of relief and head off to the science lab.
The only sound you hear as you jog along the streets is the slap of your sandals against the pavement. No one is stirring. There are no more cars, no paperboys or papergirls, no friendly eye eating zombie neighbors. You’re extremely grateful for that last one.
You finally get to the science lab. It’s as silent and still as the rest of the town.
The door is unlocked. You push it open.
The smell hits you like a punch to the nether regions. It’s the smell from the Vaguester, times a million.
You slam the door shut and sag to the pavement, gasping for breath. And then you hear it.
Something is shambling towards you.