Rainbow Kitty Attack!!!

The gnome is fed up. He wants some new clothes. If you get them for him he’ll consider talking to you some more.

pimpgnome

“OMG GUNKY, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND DECENT CLOTHES MY SIZE? IF YOU WILL GET ME A PURPLE LEISURE SUIT, SILVER CANE, AND A PURPLE MINK COAT I MIGHT TELL YOU HOW TO GET MORE CHICKS AND ALSO HOW TO KICK ZOMBIE ASS!”

“Follow me” says Ruby. You follow her behind the spa where theres a gnome. Ruby says something in… well some language you dont know. Then the gnome speaks “Hello Goopy I heard you need help” You look at Ruby questionly. “Follow me Gunky.” You follow her somewhere youve never been. She holds hands with you “The gnome is magic he talks if you promise him something in return and… Gunky I really like you.” She gives you a kiss… on the lips. Girlfriend #6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby comes into the room and starts talking, but you can’t understand a word she’s saying.

always on top when I pvp

“Aexer ici caneta Dord?”

“HELLO GOOPY! DO NOT RETURN WITHOUT MY PHAT PURPLE SUIT!”

“Brahfer geti mu!”

Everything is spinning and there’s lots of colors and you think you might puke, but then Ruby stops speaking in strange tongues and starts…doing things in strange tongues.

whoa, dude, check out my hand

You’re grooving with it and forgetting all about the zombies and the gnome and everything when something hard and cold hits your cheek.

“Gunky, there’s zombies outside. Wake up and help us get out of here before I take this lotion and pour it up your butt.”

iliana no!

Iliana is standing over the bed, looking solid and not very spinny. She’s squishing her lips all close together again. You really wish she’d stop doing that. It’s not attractive at all.

“But the gnome…and Ruby…”

“Yeah, Gunky. There’s no gnome and Ruby is insane. While you were in here tripping on your precious lotion she told us she wears the helmet to protect her brain from the Rainbow Kitty Attack god. Apparently it sends her messages and tells her to kill people. Are you listening, Gunky? The girl has a rainbow kitty voice in her head that tells her to kill people.”

“You’re just jealous ’cause she’s cuter than you and doesn’t do the mouth thing.”

Iliana does the mouth thing times a million and stomps out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

You get up. Your legs are all wobbly and you feel a bit sick. And okay, so the kiss with Ruby was a lotion-induced fantasy and not real. It’s okay. You will kiss her for real soon. Oh yes, you will.

You flex your arms and admire your shiny abs. Who’s the rainbow kitty attack god now? Yeah, you are. That’s right.

Ego fluffed and not at all bruised, you walk out into the reception area of the spa. Ruby is standing by herself in the middle of the room, singing.

grr argh bah

rainbow kitties frolic in the meadow
magic gnomes play in the sun
Attack attack kill kill DEATH ALSO FIRE
AAAAAALLLLOOOONNNEEEE

You swagger up to her, your abs shiny and toxic. Ooh hey, if you could get her to touch them maybe she’d absorb some of the lotion and she could get some sweet spinny rainbow kitty colors going too.

“Hey baby, how you doin’?”

too sexy for my hat

“You have displeased the gnome, Gunky. The gnome is not happy with you. Not at all. You must undergo the Ritual of Rainbow Flower Attack Hat to be absolved of this stain on your glitteriness.”

Where can you get a helmet like that? It would totally go with the pink skull pants of love. And maybe it’s even lined with tinfoil — you know, to stop the book taking over your brain and stuff.

Her mouth is so pretty and full and not at all like Iliana’s. You watch it move. Pretty sounds are coming out of it but you can’t really focus. Things are still a bit spinny and colorful.

Your eyes move upward and you stare at her helmet for a bit. So pretty and pink. Mmm, pretty pink flowers.

You vaguely remember Iliana saying something about the helmet and how it stopped voices. Could it maybe stop the Top 10 Ways To Repel Those Awful Green Smelly Zombies Who Want Your Nice Juicy Eyes book from violating your mind and making you do strange things? Also the pink would go well with the pants.

You look down at your pants, comparing the pink skulls to the helmet’s pink flowers. Yeah dude, that’d be so manly and awesome. Ruby would fall into your arms and kiss you for real if you could just get a helmet like hers.

“That sure is a nice helmet there, Ruby. Do you think you could find me one like it?”

rubyrawr!

“The hat is death! The hat is fire! The hat is all alone! The gnome says the hat is only for the pure! You must be cleansed! Rainbow kitty, attack!”

Ruby looks ready for the zombie-apocalypse with that helmet, maybe she has some nifty outfits for the other two as well? Having an army of potential girlfriends could be useful. Not that you’d need such things of course, you cut a much finer figure as leader without helmet-hair.

“Hey, whoa, it’s cool. I didn’t really want a helmet. It’d mess my hair all up.”

Yeah, that’s a good excuse. You don’t want Ruby to know that you are not pure. And you are definitely not pure. Not in any way, shape or manner.

You wonder what would happen if you put the helmet on. Would it maybe burst into flames? Best not to find out.

It could help protect Iliana and Victoria, though. Victoria is just a kid and you know Iliana’s pure as hell with that mouth problem she has.

Also, you sort of think you may have seen a zombie outside.

“Umm, do you have any spare helmets for the other girls?

you're the cutest thing I ever did see

“Did he just throw us to the rainbow kitty attack hat of Fire and Death and Aloneness?”

“Yeah, I think he did.”

I like the playettes

Iliana is really doing the mouth thing now, going on and on about she ain’t gonna wear no pink hats of death and fire and utter and total isolation but whatever, she’s just ashamed of being pure.

And umm, that’s Aunt Matilda. Right there. Right outside the window.

SCCRUH. SCCRUH.

“Uhh, guys? The zombies are sort of here and will be chewing on the walls in a few seconds and I think we should go now. We can worry about purity helmets later.”

Moans are coming from outside. Moans and terrible scratching and chewing noises.

““BRRRAAAIINNSSS!!!! BLLLOOOOODDD!!! NICE JUICY EYES!!!”

find out that girlfriend #2′s kid is also a zombie, and OOH OOH! Make the kid after his brains too!

“BRRRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSSSS!!!!”

You know that voice. Where have you heard it before? You strain your mind, trying to remember, trying to clear the spinny color fog.

Oh god. Oh god no.

Grimy!!!

Outside the window, little Grimy GilsCarbo is shuffling towards the door.

Author’s Note: We are open for suggestions. 🙂 Also, terribly sorry about how long it’s been. This was fun. The next one might be sooner, although of course I want to do 10.04 too and also a Farmer Brown story.

Also, Rainbow Kitty Attack is the name of the 2v2 arena team I play with my husband in World of Warcraft. He gave permission for use of the name. 🙂

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24 Responses to Rainbow Kitty Attack!!!

  1. Sara2573 says:

    the little kid sees him and figures out who he is he says “Help daddy” and Gunky is yearning to help him. Then he remembers when Ruby shouts ” RAINBOW KITTY ATTACK” that his son is a zombie.

    Like

    • Sara2573 says:

      first comment btw

      Like

      • medleymisty says:

        Yep. 🙂

        Oh, note to LJ peeps – anonymous commenting is enabled. All you have to do is hit reply or comment or whatever if you’ve got a suggestion.

        Oh, I didn’t even look at Grimy’s stats until right before I shut down the game. I made him in CAS using Gunky and the girlfriend #2 zombie. His traits are party animal, inappropriate, and heavy sleeper. He is indeed Gunky’s son. 🙂

        Like

  2. HAB says:

    Ruby takes off her hat. You look at her hair in both fear and amazement. It is fiery red, and probably not just because she colored it. She shakes it out, to get rid of the helmet hair of course, and a strand whips Iliana. She screams and falls to the floor, and right there you realize how pretty she is when she’s not doing the mouth thing.

    Like

  3. tesseracta says:

    This is such a fun concept! I’m glad you’re continuing it. Your writing is hysterical, and it’s very clever how you put everything together.

    Here are suggestions:

    Gunky’s heart softens when he sees his little boy, because a small part of him felt bad about how things ended with Grimy’s mom. She was girlfriend #2, and that was exactly what he treated her like.

    Somehow Gunky gets Grimy away from the zombie horde and back safety into the spa. In order to prevent the boy from attacking everyone, they have restrain Grimy in one of those herbal spa body wraps.

    There is discussion whether or not Grimy has inherited any of Gunky’s looks or brains.

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Thank you! I’m glad I’m continuing it too – I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it and it is certainly a nice break from Seth’s teen angst in 10. And I like putting all the suggestions together – hopefully putting them together into a narrative whole that makes some sort of sense is helping to hone my plotting skillz. 😉

      I try to not look at the suggestions too much until I have enough for an update so I’m not spoiled and I don’t start thinking about a plot until I see everything that I have to work with, but I’m sure yours rocks and will be quite entertaining to write and fruitful. 🙂

      Like

  4. DB loves her Mac says:

    Suddenly Gunky experiences the THOKK of a solid object impacting his non-helmeted cranium. He reaches down, picks it up, and reads the scrolly letters on the label: “98% Pure Flame Fruit Cleansing Bar.”

    Ilana’s mouth does a new snide thing as she says, “I thought you could use some purity.”

    Dude. That mussed the hair!

    Like

  5. medleymisty says:

    Still open for suggestions.

    Like

    • DB loves her Mac says:

      I didn’t include this in my suggestions comment, but I need to say how thrilled I am that Gunky is back! I really missed him.

      Like

      • medleymisty says:

        Aww, thanks. 🙂 I missed him too, more than I knew.

        Still haven’t started writing the next update for anything – been tired and sad. But a couple more suggestions could tip the balance towards more Gunky. If not, then I guess I’ll get started on 10.04 soon and use what suggestions I have for Gunky after updating 10.

        Like

  6. Anonymous says:

    Lessee…

    How could Ruby imply that you’re not pure? You *are* pure — 100% pure love god, baby! Oh well — her loss is the rest of womankind’s gain, right?

    -and-

    Oh God, not the kid again! Next thing you know, he’ll be anting to play catch — with your liver! Bwahahaha!

    ********************
    Sorry to hear you’re feeling down. It’s a tough place to be and tough to get out of sometimes. I hope you start feeling better soon.

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Oh, thank you! 🙂 I do think I’m feeling a bit better – will look at the 10.04 draft tomorrow night. I might leave this open for more suggestions before getting started on the next Gunky update – I know a lot of my regular commenters are on vacation or otherwise busy at the moment so I’ll give them some time, because they give good comments which leads to a good story. And I sneaked a peek at your comment and ooh, I think that’s going to be good. 🙂

      Like

  7. mountainshade1 says:

    Is this still open? I have a little contribution:

    “Gunky? What did you just see? You’ve gone very pale.” Iliana’s voice had an edge of concern, though it did mostly come out in a disdainful tone through that hen-butt mouth of hers.
    ————
    I can’t remember where I read it, probably VSS or your LJ, but I think it’s hilarious that Victoria is a female version of Seth. I look forward to see her step more into the limelight.

    Great to see this update Misty.

    Like

  8. helenpaige1 says:

    Idk if you read my blog before but check it out because I have some news. Anyway, great post! fun!

    Like

  9. The site of girlfriend #2’s son bolsters his courage a bit. It’s terrible to think, but Gunky can’t help but reason that zombified kids can’t possibly need child support, can they?

    Plus, having a zombified son would totally score sympathy points. Girlfriend #6, while still a mystery, should be falling all over herself at the site of little Grimy in his condition!

    At the very least, Gunky maintains an ability to look on the positive side of an increasingly dire situation.

    Like

  10. medleymisty says:

    All right, calling this one. 🙂 And I sneaked a peek, and wow – the next update is going to be fun! 🙂

    I sort of didn’t get up until almost 4 today (I was quite sleep deprived and didn’t actually go to sleep until 3 a.m. or so) and I haven’t had the chance to write anything fictional. Right now I have some thoughts about writing that I really really want to get out on my LJ and then I found some wonderful blog posts about writing and left lengthy comments on them.

    But anyway – hopefully I will get work done on either 10.04 or the next Gunky update tomorrow. We’ll see what sort of mood I’m in.

    Like

  11. moondaisy101 says:

    Does “calling this one” means your closing down for suggestions?

    In that case ignore the following…

    “Zombies are scary and they seem to multiply by the second. It’s got to stop if you want your life back before anyone gobbles up your juicy eyes. And you definitely don’t want to lose your brain, however tiny, to those annoying degenerates. You are destined for greater things than that!
    So seeing Grimy makes you happy. A kid zombie can’t be as dangerous as the adult counterpart, right? And he is your son after all… Does Grimy somehow know how he can be cured and made whole again?”

    Like

  12. Stacy, you have GOT to see this! Go past the first five or six pictures or so, and you will get to… ZOMBIE WEDDING CAKES!!!!

    http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/07/sunday-sweets-comic-con-relief.html

    I hope you won’t take it the wrong way that when I saw them, I immediately thought of you. 🙂

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      OMG! Of course I won’t take it the wrong way!

      I love it! If I’d had a wedding cake, I would have wanted it to look like that! Thank you for the link. *hugs*

      Looked at the creepy cakes – omg the realistic baby cake scarred me.

      Like

  13. helenpaige1 says:

    Heyyy! I got my new story out finally! Check it out and suggest to people because I think its going to be great!
    http://ecilainwonderland.wordpress.com/

    yes, its inspired by Wasteland but my story line is much different in some ways. XD

    Like

  14. Ha ha ha I love this….will there be any more or is it forever shelved?

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      I still love Gunky as a character – I wrote a full text story starring him where he’s Seth’s lab assistant, lol – https://medleymisty.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/some-assembly-required/

      What killed it was one person taking their suggestions too far and trying to take over the story and make the characters do things that I didn’t want them to do. Everyone else played nicely, though.

      I would like to do more of it, but comments are few and far between these days. I suppose once I get voted out of Idol, get the new Sims story going, and have people interested again I could try to restart it. I love it too. 🙂

      Thank you!

      Like

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