Thanatos

I promise this will be different once the actual plot gets started

My husband lives in shadow. I see it when he walks to the breakfast table, when he eats my waffles, when he leaves and goes to work in his garden. It coils around him, dark and sinuous. It weaves through his fingers, between his legs, around his chest. It fills the spaces where I used to go, once.

this is all hard

But now, right now, his arm around me, his hand in mine, I am the one weaving my fingers through his, and it is my face against his chest. The shadow is gone, and I am back where I am supposed to be.

ugh this is stupid and I am stupid and everything is stupid

He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. I feel every warm whorl of his finger pads, every exhalation of his breath on my skin.

actually no it is all fun!

Sometimes, when I make my waffles, I think about the shadow. It flows up and down the stairs. Waves of it lap against the dining table. It pools in the sink.

I have no idea what I am doing but it's Sarah making waffles and thinking about Seth so I guess I do really?

I can feel it winding its way around me. It wraps around my arms and clings to my chest and sends its tendrils down my throat, so that I cannot speak.

I wonder how this story will go

The shadow pours into the little squares of the waffles, like syrup.

It’s been so long since we’ve had a pleasant breakfast. Or a pleasant lunch, or dinner, or picnic, or a pleasant anything.

move, self, get out the way

But now he is here and the shadow is not. I look into his eyes. They are green and warm and hazy. I study them, looking for the shadow. It must be there. It’s been there for years.

I look and look, but I don’t see it.

waffles and darkness and Sarah musing, will things ever change?

I am looking in his eyes, and he is looking into mine, and the shadow is not here.

yeah this is gonna get way too intense for me to show to my husband, lol

The shadow is not here but he is, with his burning green eyes and his warm hands and his slow steady thrusts.

first time I have ever written anything like this for public consumption

His eyes crackle and spark and I grip him harder, pulling him into me.

this is kind of fun

The shadow slipped between us after the fire.

give me time to get past the introduction, all right

He came home from the hospital, and he wasn’t the same. He’d always been quiet. He’d always been reserved. But after the fire, he retreated deep into himself. He went somewhere I couldn’t follow.

He’d pick at my waffles, tearing them apart, pushing his fork down into the syrup. He’d say that he was going out, in a low rough voice, a new voice, a voice full of the shadow. He stopped looking at me.

He stopped touching me.

hmmm

He touched his plants instead.

but you know, I can't assume that everyone reading this already knows all this

He is panting, faster and faster. His fingers close around my arms, bruising the skin, and I want him I want him I want him and I raise my hips to meet his thrusts and I drive him into me, deeper, harder, and the shadow isn’t here and he is warm and he is light and I am free, I am free, and I can speak.

“Seth.” I breathe his name, the shadow gone, the barrier down, his skin against mine, and he is part of me and I am part of him and his eyes burn and burn and burn.

hottest damn screenshot ever, am I right?

“Seth”, I say again, his name a charm against the shadow, my claim on him. He leans down and presses his lips against mine so hard that I cannot breathe.

He gathers me against him, and I feel his fingers tight on my shoulders and the hairs on his chest rough against my skin. I feel his hips slam against mine. I feel him shudder inside me.

I don’t want him to go. I want him to stay here. I want to stay like this, locked together, skin against skin, no space for the shadow.

MM, bringing you proper literary smut since....now ;)

He looks down at me, his eyes still clear. He kisses me, tenderly, softly, no more bruising hardness, and he says “Sarah”.

My name his claim on me, and it is absolute.

He pulls out, leaving me empty and bereft. He rolls on to his back. I curl up next to him, my head on his chest, and he combs his fingers through my hair.

OMG a Trojan condoms ad just came on Spotify!

I think about him out in his garden, the shadow swirling around him, and I wonder.

When will the shadow be back?

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13 Responses to Thanatos

  1. I am so proud of you right now, dude. I really am.

    Also, this was very well done smut and I enjoyed it immensely. It was both sensual and emotional and very well-paced. ❤

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      YAY! *gives you all the hugs* I dids it! 🙂 I did! I just woke up Sunday ready to go. Today is the fourth anniversary of me publishing the first chapter of Valley, which I didn’t know that until I checked just a bit before I published this, so you know – maybe it was some sort of subconscious memory thing going on, I don’t know.

      Also yay for the compliments on the smut! It was my first time writing it, and it’s a delicate subject for me, and I was all worried, but well – I said years ago that I wanted to do an explicit Sarah/Seth scene, but that I was waiting until I was good enough to do it.

      Guess I’m good enough now. 😉

      Like

      • Dude, you are definitely good enough, now. 😉 This is coming from the self-proclaimed Smut Fairy. It’s probably my favorite genre to write. Even thinking about trying to score a few quick bucks off of it, but I’mma go into detail on that with a blog post. 🙂

        Like

  2. Sara says:

    This is just… wow… I can’t even handle how awesome this is…

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Wow! Thank you lots and lots, awesome beautiful friend person! 🙂 *gives you infinite hugs, plus…three!*

      I started Valley four years ago. I’ve learned a lot since then. 😉

      Like

  3. Jessie says:

    Nora Roberts couldnt have done the smut better! 🙂 Well done!

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      I’ve never read her stuff – I tend to stay away from romance and stuff like this. Which is why I wasn’t so sure about writing it. It’s a bit of a delicate issue for me. But I did it! I was all “challenges self” and “goes out of comfort zone* and I did it! 🙂

      Yay thank you!

      Also maybe next time we go to the bookstore I’ll take a peek at her stuff. 😉

      Like

  4. Blu Paws says:

    Even though Sarah (and the rest of us) knows that the shadow will always lurk about, I’m glad it hasn’t completely consumed their relationship and they are able to have a moment like this. I like that waffles and fire peeked their way in here 😉 You’re off to a wonderful start, Medley!

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Today at work I was listening to my Guns’n’Roses CD, and I thought the line “But what’s puzzling you is the nature of my game” from Sympathy For The Devil was appropriate for Seth here. 😉

      Obviously the story so far is pretty similar, but here is where the story of Seth and Sarah in Moonlight Falls diverges from the Sunset Valley story. Yeah, I know, the waffles and the fire may have seemed tired and like the same old thing, but just wait. It’s gonna get different here pretty soon.

      And yeah, it’s nice that Sarah gets to think that she has her Seth back for a bit. *rubs hands together and cackles* 😉

      Yay thank you! *hugs* I love you a lot.

      Like

  5. vupii says:

    Beautifully written darling ♥

    Like

  6. Robin says:

    This is awesome! Could you please continue Howling at the Moon? It’s a cliffhanger!

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Thank you!

      Well – this story is the prologue to Howling at the Moon, and so I will probably either pick Howling back up when it’s done, or incorporate Howling into it later.

      Like

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