Bluebeard

Hello sweet friends!

The bed creaks. I feel the mattress rise a bit beneath me. Seth stands up, and the mattress falls. His warmth disappears.

I pretend to be asleep. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to make waffles. I don’t want to deal with the bugs on my kitchen counter.

I follow his footsteps across the floor. He’s at the dresser now.

I don’t want to do laundry either.

I had the worst cold, omg

He changes and goes downstairs. I hear the refrigerator open and shut. He must be having the leftover waffles from yesterday for breakfast.

and even right now I have a headache and the last bits of the cold

I hope he likes them.

tee hee

I hear plates rattling, cabinet doors closing.  I hear the whine of the dishwasher.

I hear a crash, followed by soft swearing.

Then there is silence. He hasn’t left. I haven’t heard the front door.

I force myself to get up when my back starts hurting and turning over doesn’t help.

I love everyone really a lot yay!

I stumble into the bathroom and turn the water on. I watch as it falls, as the tub fills. I listen to the sounds change as the water gets deeper.

Maybe he’ll say we can go out today. Maybe there won’t be an experiment to tend. Maybe the plants in the garden will be able to survive on their own for a few hours.

Maybe I will just drown myself in the bathtub.

I know this is taking a while

I don’t, of course. I get out when my fingers are wrinkly and the water has gone cold, my back still hurting, and I dress and I go downstairs.

Seth is standing in front of the door. He raises his head at the sound of my feet on the stairs.

“I’ve been waiting for you.”

oh freaking well, life is like that sometimes

My brain feels like boiled noodles. I think someone is trying to eat my noodle brain by sticking their fork through my eyeballs. I want to tell the person to stop and go eat someone else’s brain, maybe a brain made out of pizza bagels. I want to close my eyes so that forks can’t get into them. I want to go back to bed. But if Seth has been waiting because he wants to go out, because he wants to go to the stadium or the movie theater or even to the park next door, then it doesn’t matter.

I reach out to touch the back of his shoulder, but something is wrong. His shoulders are hunched, his muscles tight. I let my hand drop.

He turns to face me. 

I look in his eyes, and I realize that we are not going out today.

oooooh look at Seth all mad!

“Where are the rhinoceros beetles, Sarah? Where are they?”

I have a cat in my lap yay

No please I don’t want him to be mad at me, he was nice yesterday, no don’t let the shadow come back. I have to make him understand. I have to make him not mad.

“I put them in the kitchen last night! I told the man at the register what you said, and he brought it all to me in a bag, and I brought the bag home and I put it on the counter, and then I went to bed. You were already asleep. I thought it’d be okay. I thought you’d come down here and find it, and you’d know what to do with it. I didn’t know what else to do!”

this is hard and scary to write

“Sarah, see, here’s the thing. I would have known what to do with it if you had brought me rhinoceros beetles. But you didn’t, and now I have a specimen going to waste, and I have to start over.”

His eyes glitter with green ice. I’m surprised that my breath doesn’t show on the air.

I have to stop this. I have to make him not mad.

I don't like writing this gaaaahhh

“I did! I got rhinoceros beetles! I promise!”

I remember the yellow and red store, the dusty books that smelled of mildew, the freezer bunnies in the jar. I remember the unhealthy tattooed man, and the wands behind him. I remember telling him what I needed. I said rhinoceros beetles. I know I did. Didn’t I?

Didn’t I?

“If I didn’t, I’m sorry! I can go back and get them now! And then maybe when I get back you could take me to your lab? Maybe if I knew more about what you do in there I’d get it right on the first try, you know? Which I’m really really sorry, and I promise I’ll get it right from now on!”

Not the way I’d planned to get into his lab, but this Seth, with his icy eyes and razor thin words, would not respond well to demands.

this is hard and it sucks and I suck

He’s calm now. Calm and quiet and dark with shadow.

“There are light beetles crawling all over the kitchen counters. You might want to go take care of that.”

I remember the crash and the swearing I heard earlier.

Oh so hey Skell

He turns and walks towards the door.  Without even turning his head to look at me, he says, “And you are to never come in my lab.”

The door bangs shut behind him.

Why do you keep coming here and to my LJ?

The house is silent.

I see Athena, our jellyfish, swimming in her bowl on the table by the door. She’s alone. She’s hungry. She hasn’t eaten all day.

I know to not make the mistake of assuming that you have good intentions again

I find her food.

I look at her world. So small. And she’s alone, all the time. Swimming around and around, as the light disappears and the shadow grows.

If I knew what I knew in the past I would have been blacked out on your ass! ;) Listening to some Kanye.

I shake her food down into her little glass bowl. She seems to appreciate it. It’s nice that someone around here appreciates the food that I provide.

too many Urkels on your team that's why your wins low

In my kitchen there are beetles crawling on the counters. Perhaps they are on the stove. Maybe there’s a line of them going up the refrigerator, humming along with it.

I hope Seth left the fluorescent light over the sink on for them.

that that don't kill me can only make me stronger

The house is silent but I hear the front door slam, over and over and over.

“And you are to never come in my lab.”

I shiver.

yay I am writing the things!

The shadow oozes from the walls and pools around my feet.

If the shadow is back, if it is going to try to claim my Seth again, then I know my job.

even it is hard and not finger vomit like Valley

I have to make light.

As always I am using an EA house furnished by EA. That painting with the waterfall is just the bond that my game and I have, and its way of always providing what I need

I should go and do something about the beetles. And the broken glass. He probably didn’t clean it up after he broke the jar.

But then, I don’t know. It feels right somehow, sitting here looking at the fire and picturing my kitchen covered with broken glass and beetles moving in time with the ticking of the clock, the refrigerator humming its song to them.

The fire crackles and spits.

If Seth were here, it would melt the ice in his eyes. He would sit on the floor with me in front of it. He would run his fingers over my arms, and he would whisper stories of haunted valleys and cursed waterfalls into my ear, his lips brushing against my skin.

But he’s not here.

obvious callback to Valley is obvious

I need to talk to Marigold.

Well, I tried to make a new character but if I spend more than 20 minutes in CAS my game is all LOL crash!

I leave Athena and the beetles and the clock and the refrigerator and the fire and the fluorescent light above the sink to sort themselves out.

I don’t slam the door though.

This story is so much more wordier than Valley

The wind rustles through the trees. The mountains are large and dark on the horizon, and I am afraid. I haven’t been out this way in years. There are no streetlights here, no warmly lit houses.

I don’t like the dark.

I'm doing 500 I'm out of control

I park the car on the side of the road. Marigold did not want a parking lot. She said it would destroy the aura.

It occurs to me that Seth might be upset if he comes back home and I’m not there. But honestly I think he would be upset either way, if I am at home or not at home, cleaning my kitchen or lying on the kitchen floor bleeding to death, trying to be his light and bring him out of the shadow or screwing someone else.

I know I asked for rhinoceros beetles.

So I now have 300,762 views on here. What'cha gonna do? ;)

I take a deep breath. I tilt my head back a bit, trying to keep the water welling up in my eyes from falling.

Marigold and I used to work at the diner together. Before Seth. Before she started seeing the future. Before she told me to leave Seth and stopped talking to me when I didn’t.

I hope she doesn’t get mad at me when I knock on her door.

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15 Responses to Bluebeard

  1. You already saw my comments on LJ (I think), but I loved, loved, loved this. Poor Sarah, man. Here’s to hoping that things with Marigold go well enough…

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      I was out doing things all day! Been going since 7 a.m. this morning, and then while we were out my phone died, so yeah!

      YAY I’m all happy that you loved it! *does a happy dance of happiness*

      You know I’m drawing on my own experiences for Sarah’s experiences here. And well – I think it’s not a spoiler for anyone familiar with my work to say that things are probably not going to go well. 😉

      Like

  2. Blu Paws says:

    Oh no, the shadow is back, but then again that shadow never leaves. It’s always there and my heart goes out to Sarah for walking on eggshells on the time. She doesn’t know which Seth she’s going to get. It’s so tiring – the constant worrying and apologizing. No wonder she didn’t want to get out of bed. If she doesn’t start the day, she doesn’t have to face the ice.
    I know this isn’t always easy for you to write about, but you really write it beautifully despite how tragic it is. This encounter with Marigold should be interesting, assuming she entertains the idea of letting Sarah back in.
    Great update and beautiful pictures, especially of Sarah. She’s always radiant even if she’s feeling super crappy inside.

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Nope. Seth is permanently broken.

      Walking on eggshells is a very good way of putting it, for all sorts of reasons. And oh man – do I know the constant worrying and apologizing.

      Yeah, it can be hard. I don’t like writing my Seth like this, but he can’t just straight up ignore her for the whole story like he has before. They have to interact some. And for the story to make sense – this is how they have to interact.

      *hugs* Thank you! That means a lot – it’s all about taking the lead and turning it into gold.

      Oooh, thanks! I hadn’t even thought about that.

      I was going to make a new character (which Sarah rolled the wish in game to have her fortune told, so this bit is completely inspired by the game) but if I’m in CAS more than 20 minutes or so my game crashes. It’s always just when I’m almost done with the Sim. So when it crashed and I lost the Sim I was making, I couldn’t face trying again. And I remembered Sarah had been friends with Marigold Maldano, who is a fairy like the Sim I was making, when I was just playing them in Moonlight Falls for a bit and she was in the culinary career. So…Marigold it is.

      I reckon I’ll build the set tomorrow night – wasn’t up to anything today after the big day we had yesterday and the struggle to get the update done and out on Thursday and Friday night.

      I love my Sarah. 🙂 People seem to always forget about her, and I think in Valley she was outshined by Seth’s fire. But here, in this story, we can explore her and get to know her. And although she has the coward trait (which has given me lots of great facial expressions from her), I think she has a quiet strength that we’ll see develop over the course of things.

      Like

  3. Lilith Kawanami says:

    Wow…This is amazing so far… Can’t wait to see more!!!

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Awww thank you yay! That means a lot! *gives you all the hugs*

      My goal is to update once a week, but this story is harder and slower than Valley. Still though, hopefully I can update fairly regularly.

      Like

  4. hrootbeer says:

    Your title here made me think that Sarah would die this chapter. Bluebeard, after all, is a name for a male serial killer who kills his wives. She didn’t die, but the chapter was appropriately creepy. I am uncomfortable in Sarah’s voice. I want to slap her and tell her to run. I remember what happened in Valley.

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Bluebeard also told his wife that she absolutely could not enter one room in the house while he was away. 😉 Of course, that was the room where he kept all the previous dead wives.

      Oh no, this is going to be a long story. And it’s really the backstory for Howling at the Moon, so when this is done I might go back to Howling.

      I am using some of my own experiences while I was writing Valley and for a year and a half afterwards to write this story. And yeah – I wish someone had told me to run.

      Like

  5. Ooh, I can feel the darkness creeping back up… like spiders up my back. See, you’ve got me writing poetically, too. ^_^

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      Oh man, now you’ve got me freaking out! Gah spiders! 😉

      The thing is though – who knows if the darkness will be there when she gets back home? Seth is tricksy like that. 😉

      Like

  6. missyhissy says:

    You are such an amazing writer! I haven’t read Valley yet, but I’ve read through this story so far and I’m amazed! You have such a wonderful talent for writing! Keep it up!!

    Like

  7. Okay, you have me hooked. I am creeped out, and I don’t know what to expect. Keep it up. Im afraid for Sara. And Seth creeps me out.

    Like

    • medleymisty says:

      YAY! *gives you lots and lots of hugs* 🙂

      Everyone should always be afraid for Sarah, yes. 😉 Seth…well…I have a screenshot of the time Sarah had the creeped out moodlet and “Sarah thinks Seth is being creepy”, lol. I love him myself, and I’ve written text-only stuff from his POV, but yeah – when the story is from other people’s POVs, he can be quite creepy.

      Like

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